You (and I) deserve a break today
What’s the badge of honor in most places anymore? The “I’m busy 24/7” badge. Multi-tasking is routine, having little to no time for rest or renewal is realistic and not focusing on a half dozen things at once makes you look like a slacker.
Well, guess what? Let’s put two and two together. (And I’m no math major so bear with me!) So many people anymore are operating on the above principle. It’s go, go, go every day, even on vacation. Do you suppose there is any connection between that and our worsening health?
Multi-tasking is not only less efficient (yes, that’s true – you’d get more done if you’d focus); it harms your health. It causes stress and insomnia; divides your attention, which can lead to short term memory loss; and can increase inflammation if you’re suffering from a chronic condition.
So, I had to come to a decision recently. I will be at the Uplevel Your Purpose business retreat in Charlotte, North Carolina, next week. What do I do about blog entries? Do I fit in more this week and set them to go next week? Do I attend the conference during the day, and sit in my hotel room at night writing?
I decided in favor of very focused single tasking. I’m not going to add more to this week. I’m not going to run from sessions and hole up in my room next week to write. I want to focus on one thing — the retreat. It earns my full attention for several days. And, for all that we’re doing there, that’s plenty.
I try to walk my talk. I don’t believe I can tell you one thing and do another. Though, believe me, I’m not perfect! And I, of course, don’t want you to be either. Perfection isn’t good for your health anyway.
But, just as I am doing, can you find a way to focus on only one thing at a time this week? Or even for one day this week? One part of one day? Start somewhere. Notice how you feel. Notice the difference single tasking creates.
Along with that, take a break. Please? In whatever way you can manage. Along with single tasking, I am enjoying this trip as a bit of a break as well. I will be in sessions all day, but, in the evening, I intend to relax. Swim. Laugh. Enjoy. And I’ve given myself an extra day so I don’t have to rush out of the last session and catch a plane. I’ll take it leisurely. Yes, I can, and sometimes I know you can’t. But I bet there are times when you honestly can give yourself a break, even if it’s short.
I’m doing this to take care of myself because one, I know this is part of remaining well, and, two, I deserve it. So do you. Happy next week; enjoy!
Now is the time
“Whatever you want to do, do it now.
There are only so many tomorrows.”
~ Michael Landon
Why be well?
Wellness gets a bad name. It’s equated with people who are boring and rigid and just plain, ol’ no fun. And that hurts. ‘Cuz I don’t think I’m boring or rigid or not fun!
I can tell you what was boring and rigid and not fun … being ill. Being ill and laying in bed, suffering. Lying in bed on a sunny, bright blue, beautiful day, and wishing I could do anything except lie in bed. Going to doctor after doctor in an attempt to find out what was wrong with me. Endless blood tests. Pain. Sadness at watching my kids’ sweet care of me when they should have been completely focused on their own needs.
So, of course, you can figure since I came from that, anything might seem better to me. And it does, and I’m healthy now. But do I keep up the routine that got me well? Oh, hell, yes! I’ve made the choice. I just don’t want the alternative, even if it would be scaled down from where I was. I like living life on my terms way too much.
I’ve heard people say that it’s just not worth it. That they don’t want to make time for boring exercise or eating right. They want to lay on the couch; they want to eat fast food. At the moment, that seems like fun to them. (Though I question that; I think it’s an easy excuse and under it are concerns and worries.)
So, okay, you eat junk food for years, and you enjoy your time on the couch surfing the ‘net or the tube. You allow stress to rule. You react to health as it comes instead of creating what you want.
Can you honestly tell me that’s going to be worth it when you lay in bed suffering? For months or years? Or perhaps the rest of your life? Is that worth it as your life’s earnings go down the drain? As you perhaps head into bankruptcy because of medical costs? (The most common reason for bankruptcy.) As you watch the people who love you worry and lose pieces of their lives to your illness? That cheeseburger and fries isn’t looking so good now, is it?
Still, this is not an all or nothing proposition. There are huge, huge shades of gray. Pick something you know you need to work on – or that appeals to you – and do it. Don’t choose it all, and then give up on it all. Set goals. Reward yourself.
But the start? The start is becoming aware. Aware of what you’re doing, aware of what you’re feeling about it, aware of the excuses you’re making. As you lay on the couch watching TV with a bag of chips in hand, listen to what you’re saying to yourself about how that’s okay. Is is true? Is it really fact? Is there truly no time or motivation or ability to pick yourself up and try something different, even if it’s only getting up and doing some sort of exercise while the commercials are on? Be honest with yourself.
Face facts. When you’re ill or dying, you may well have a ton of regret about what you didn’t do to save your health. I don’t want that for you. It’s the pits. I know you don’t want it for yourself either. You can change your future. Just make one change today.
Sometimes you blaze a trail
“I will not follow where the path may lead,
but I will go where there is no path, and I will leave a trail.”
~ Muriel Strade
Young moms — your health is at risk
You’re the mother of an infant — and/or maybe toddler (or two) on the side. There’s so much to do that you end up last on the list. If you even get on the list. You’re exhausted, but you’re trying to do the best for your family. Which doesn’t seem to include you, as far as your own efforts go.
You’re not to be blamed. You’re simply a dedicated mom, and that’s to be commended. But, in this scenario, you are doing things that hurt not only you but your kids.
Do I have your attention? I know I do if you’re a dedicated mom. Because you really, really want to do the best you can. You recognize it’s an important job. And it is — perhaps the most important work you’ll ever do.
The problem is that you’re not taking care of your own self. And before you give me buts and reasons and excuses, please hang in here a bit longer. And then perhaps send this post to the people in your life who need to support you.
In a study, it was found that young mothers consumed more calories, which included more saturated fat and sweetened drinks, and got an hour less exercise per week than women of a similar age without children. Okay, yes, I so get what you’re saying right now! In short — duh!! I remember, even though my kids are long grown. There isn’t exactly a lot of day left at the end of the day for you to do what you want.
But the extra danger is that this trend continues on into your life. These habits grow unchecked, which is not only going to result in you not being a healthy mom but perhaps your kids not being healthy kids either. And, at worst, leading to you being ill, and that’s definitely not going to allow you to be the mom you want to be.
I think the first part of changing this comes down to support. (And here’s where you want to send this on to those in your life who should be supporting you in your very important role as a mom.)
Those of you reading this who have young mothers in your lives? Support them! Offer assistance. Simply go ahead and do things for them that aren’t intrusive. Things they can use. Her way not your way! Make healthy meals and snacks for the young mom, volunteer some child care so she can both rest and have time and energy to exercise. Lighten the load. It’s really easy when the load isn’t all yours. Give her permission and encouragement to take time for herself. It’s not self-centered; it’s life giving. And it gives those kids a mom who is setting a good example so they, too, can lead healthy lives.
The second part of changing this rests in your own hands, moms. Accept help. Ask for specific help even if it isn’t offered. It’s okay; there truly is no prize in being super mom. In fact, it’s dangerous — to you, to your health, to your kids. They need a healthy, happy mom.
Identify some quick, healthy snacks and meals you can rely on when time is short. Keep the kitchen stocked with these items. You need the proper fuel so you can be the mom your kids want and need. Grabbing a snack loaded with sugar and chemicals is going to give you the energy boost you’re craving, but it’s also going to kick you to the floor a short time later. Healthy meals and snacks will give you the long-lasting energy you want. It’ll keep your blood sugar and your mood stabilized.
Get someone to take over here and there, and rest. You need it. You’ll be able to do more when you feel rested. If the baby’s napping, nap! If there are a few more dust bunnies breeding, so be it. If anyone comes over and comments, smile and offer them a vacuum!
Stop being Super Woman. Be Smart Woman instead. Set a different standard. Set the standard that self care is more important than thing care. Isn’t that really what you want your kids to learn as well? They can’t learn what they don’t see.
Don’t feel guilty about the time you make to exercise or de-stress. Look at it this way: One, your children and family need you to remain well. You’re not going to be able to help them in the way you want if you are ill. Two, taking time for yourself equals a happier, less stressed, easier-to-go-with-the-flow mom. And that reaps huge rewards in your connection (which is another important area of health) with your kids and family. Three, as a mom, you want to set a good example for your children. When you take care of yourself, your precious children will learn it’s okay to look out for themselves as well, whether that be as young kids, as teens trying to find their way or when they also become parents.
Put self care on your list right now. You need it. You deserve it. It’s the right thing to do. As a bonus, putting in these habits when your time is short will make it even easier to continue the routine as your children grow, and you do gain more time for yourself. You’ll be healthy today; you’ll be healthy tomorrow; you’ll be healthy as you age. You’ll live long enough — and well enough — to enjoy life, have fun with your kids and build continually renewing health that restores you over and over again.
