Connection counts

Too often, people assume there are only two important parts to being healthy: what you eat and how much you exercise.

But is that it? No, there’s much more to being fully well. You can eat the cleanest diet possible and exercise regularly but still endure the impact on your health of not dealing with other areas.

Several years ago, I survived one of the worst attacks of pain I’ve ever had. All of a sudden, I was crippled with pain that took me to my knees. I actually thought I might be dying. I actually thought of calling an ambulance.

But, being stubborn and dedicated to holistic ways, I really didn’t want to go through the traditional medical system if I could skip it. I didn’t want cut or medicated, unless my life truly was in danger. I called my daughter for help in identifying what might be producing the tight squeeze of pain, and she instantly headed to my home. Luckily, the pain had passed by the time she got through rush-hour traffic.

She researched for me and found that what I’d had matched a gall bladder attack. She went and got items that probably would help me feel better — and they definitely helped. But, in the next few days, I still checked in with my holistic doctor. Yes, it was my gall bladder, he confirmed.

Feeling frustrated — as I led a pretty healthy life at that point — I asked him: “But why? You know how much I do to remain healthy. Why this?” His response: “Cindy, emotions will kill you.” I have no idea where that statement came from. We’d known each other for years and chatted all the time but about things like health topics, politics and movies. Not personal stuff. Still, I realized his statement was right on. Emotions were killing me.

I was in a marriage that was long over. Only nobody would pronounce it dead. Did I think I could endure? Yeah, I did … and I was. But my body had other ideas.

No, I didn’t run out and get a divorce at that point. I struggled with the decision — and more gall bladder problems — for a couple more years. I didn’t want to be the bad guy, but I began to realize that even though some might see it as being a bad guy, it wasn’t necessarily so. I was freeing us both up to lead lives we could enjoy, not lives in which we were making each other miserable. And, on the selfish front, I simply had to save myself.

It’s now a year and a half since our divorce, and I have remained symptom free. Not one gall bladder problem. Apparently, the decision I needed to make was weighing heavily on me and my health. We had been trying to fix our marriage for nearly a decade and probably had mostly given up about two years prior.

Recently, I learned that the acupressure point for the gall bladder also has to do with making decisions. So, there I was — sidestepping a critical decision — and my health was impacted severely. Our bodies try to give us clues, but we too often disregard those, and that’s what I was doing.

I write this because you may be like me — doing a lot to have a healthy life yet still facing health issues. Problems with the important relationships in your life could be your missing piece. That doesn’t necessarily mean you end that relationship. It does mean you figure out what you do need to do.

Just like nutrition and movement, connection counts. Issues in that area can be just as toxic to your health as if you eat fast food 24/7, never get off the couch or take tons of medications. In order for you to be fully well, you need connections. But, more importantly, those connections should be supportive, trustworthy, respectful and honorable.